-Americans don’t care about World Cup soccer because we already have Baseball and no one has the attention span for two boring sports.
-I pay over $100 dollars a month for all the satellite television channels and the best thing on is usually a rerun of The Office from 2007.
-The CEO of BP says he is “personally devastated” by the oil spill. Such a shame, he was making great progress in therapy and starting to really feel good about himself.
-Most of the people on the motorized carts in the grocery store are simply too fat to walk.
-I would drive a tiny, fuel efficient vehicle if I could be assured that a cell phone yakking moron in a giant pick-up truck wouldn’t run me over.
-You wouldn’t think waffles and fried chicken would be good together, but it is a heavenly combination.
-All restaurants in Phoenix have basically the same menu, and no matter what sort of grilled, marinated hoo-hah you put on a chicken sandwich, it’s still boring.
-The best episodes of Father Ted were the funniest TV shows ever.
-110 degrees in Arizona feels cooler than 90 degrees in South Carolina.
-If a talkative man with huge shoulders gets on a plane, he will make a beeline for the seat next to me. You can bet the ranch on it.
-John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman is the best jazz album ever made.
-I have a relative who wants to stop taking her anti-depression meds because she “feels better and doesn’t need them anymore”
-Canada would be the perfect place to live if it weren’t so damn cold.
-I have come to the conclusion that most of the people who visit my blog are looking for pictures of movie stars in their underwear. It’s a sobering thought.
-If the Democrats and the Republicans would simply have a few Martinis together at the end of day, most of this nation’s problems would be solved.
-If we got rid of talk radio and cable news the rest would be solved.
-Here it is mid-June and it looks like another year without any honorary degrees. Shame, I’ve got a doozy of a speech in the hopper.
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