Memorial Day 2011

Memorial Day 2011

Groucho Marx: You Bet Your Life: The Lost Episodes (1950)****

During the Great Depression, The Marx Brothers made America laugh when the country needed it most, and by the end of WWII were winding down their movie careers. But while Chico and Harpo were getting too old for physical slapstick comedy, Groucho’s witty mind was still razor sharp. In 1947 ABC radio debuted You Bet Your Life, a weekly quiz show hosted by Marx and his smooth, yet amusingly un-hip announcer George Fennemen.

In 1950, the show jumped to NBC and that extraordinary new medium, television, where it enjoyed an amazing 11 year prime-time run. Since most of the 400-plus episodes are public domain, there are many You Bet Your Life compilation discs out there, and this reviewer has made it a point to see just about all of them. But The Lost Episodes is by far the best collection. I’m not sure what qualifies these shows as “lost” but I strongly suspect they were considered too racy and off beat to be included in the standard syndication packages that were sold to TV stations as family entertainment in the 1970s and 80s.

In this set, we meet folks like comedian Ernie Kovacs, boxer Archie Moore, Gary Cooper’s mom (who is a scream) as well as a host of less famous, but no less interesting, figures. And speaking of figures, there are a few of those buxom young lasses scattered about who bring out the lecherous best in Groucho, and the double-entendres fly with abandon.

It’s also interesting to see how the rules of the quiz, the prize money and contestants’ expectations changed over the years. In the early episodes, guests were lucky to walk away with ten dollars, and the ones who did were giddy with excitement. In later years, the grand prize was $10,000, a staggering sum for 1959. Yes, it’s old. Yes, it’s dated. Some of it’s just plain weird. But for escapist belly laughs with a history lesson thrown into the mix, Groucho fans will be mighty glad these lost episodes turned up.

Groucho Marx: You Bet Your Life: The Lost Episodes (1950)****

During the Great Depression, The Marx Brothers made America laugh when the country needed it most, and by the end of WWII were winding down their movie careers. But while Chico and Harpo were getting too old for physical slapstick comedy, Groucho’s witty mind was still razor sharp. In 1947 ABC radio debuted You Bet Your Life, a weekly quiz show hosted by Marx and his smooth, yet amusingly un-hip announcer George Fennemen.

In 1950, the show jumped to NBC and that extraordinary new medium, television, where it enjoyed an amazing 11 year prime-time run. Since most of the 400-plus episodes are public domain, there are many You Bet Your Life compilation discs out there, and this reviewer has made it a point to see just about all of them. But The Lost Episodes is by far the best collection. I’m not sure what qualifies these shows as “lost” but I strongly suspect they were considered too racy and off beat to be included in the standard syndication packages that were sold to TV stations as family entertainment in the 1970s and 80s.

In this set, we meet folks like comedian Ernie Kovacs, boxer Archie Moore, Gary Cooper’s mom (who is a scream) as well as a host of less famous, but no less interesting, figures. And speaking of figures, there are a few of those buxom young lasses scattered about who bring out the lecherous best in Groucho, and the double-entendres fly with abandon.

It’s also interesting to see how the rules of the quiz, the prize money and contestants’ expectations changed over the years. In the early episodes, guests were lucky to walk away with ten dollars, and the ones who did were giddy with excitement. In later years, the grand prize was $10,000, a staggering sum for 1959. Yes, it’s old. Yes, it’s dated. Some of it’s just plain weird. But for escapist belly laughs with a history lesson thrown into the mix, Groucho fans will be mighty glad these lost episodes turned up.

How to Write Good For Netflix

Like a few other film bloggers, I polished my review writing chops over at that place with the red envelopes. If you think you have what it takes to become a famous and fabulously wealthy film blogger like me, you might want to submit a few reviews to Netflix just to get your feet wet. Here are some hints….


Size Matters
There’s still a hefty portion of the world that equates length with quality, so make your reviews virtual epics. You’ve got 2000 characters (with spaces) to work with, so use every stinkin one of them. Throw in a grocery list if you have to, just make it long. Don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense; no one reads long reviews anyway. But let’s face it, a great big pile o’ words just looks impressive. And you’ll likely get some “helpfuls” from kind folks who simply admire the effort.


No Hablo Ingles
When reviewing a foreign film, make it very clear that the FILM IS NOT IN ENGLISH. And yes, you may have to use all caps to reach the very dim. There are people out there who are shocked and appalled to find a movie called A Nos Amors does not have people conversing in English with twangy Wisconsin accents. Half the bad reviews foreign films get are due to folks being miffed that they had to endure a few seconds of exposure to a non-American culture. These people really shouldn’t be renting Last Year at Marienbad, so make it plain.


The Ps Make It Pop
Everyone knows about Profound and Poignant. In fact, they’re a reviewer’s best friends. But if you’re not using the full array of P words, you’re missing out. Preternatural, Plethora and Polythematic have all helped me out of jams in the past. And of course, everyone loves Pusillanimous, which has the added charm of being a word that sounds dirty, but really isn’t.


Who’s the Helmer, Elmer?
Be sure to mention the director’s name at least 3 times. More if possible. Doesn’t matter if the film is good or bad. Like football coaches, directors get all the credit or the blame, regardless of whether they deserve it, so make sure everyone knows who to praise or crucify. Plus, frequent director name-dropping makes you sound like you know what you’re talking about and it helps you reach that 2000 character limit. And if it’s an Apitchapong Weerasathakul film, you’re almost finished before you begin!

The only exception to this rule is if you’re reviewing a TV show. No one cares about TV directors because they tend to be talentless hacks and assholes.

How to Write Good For Netflix

Like a few other film bloggers, I polished my review writing chops over at that place with the red envelopes. If you think you have what it takes to become a famous and fabulously wealthy film blogger like me, you might want to submit a few reviews to Netflix just to get your feet wet. Here are some hints….


Size Matters
There’s still a hefty portion of the world that equates length with quality, so make your reviews virtual epics. You’ve got 2000 characters (with spaces) to work with, so use every stinkin one of them. Throw in a grocery list if you have to, just make it long. Don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense; no one reads long reviews anyway. But let’s face it, a great big pile o’ words just looks impressive. And you’ll likely get some “helpfuls” from kind folks who simply admire the effort.


No Hablo Ingles
When reviewing a foreign film, make it very clear that the FILM IS NOT IN ENGLISH. And yes, you may have to use all caps to reach the very dim. There are people out there who are shocked and appalled to find a movie called A Nos Amors does not have people conversing in English with twangy Wisconsin accents. Half the bad reviews foreign films get are due to folks being miffed that they had to endure a few seconds of exposure to a non-American culture. These people really shouldn’t be renting Last Year at Marienbad, so make it plain.


The Ps Make It Pop
Everyone knows about Profound and Poignant. In fact, they’re a reviewer’s best friends. But if you’re not using the full array of P words, you’re missing out. Preternatural, Plethora and Polythematic have all helped me out of jams in the past. And of course, everyone loves Pusillanimous, which has the added charm of being a word that sounds dirty, but really isn’t.


Who’s the Helmer, Elmer?
Be sure to mention the director’s name at least 3 times. More if possible. Doesn’t matter if the film is good or bad. Like football coaches, directors get all the credit or the blame, regardless of whether they deserve it, so make sure everyone knows who to praise or crucify. Plus, frequent director name-dropping makes you sound like you know what you’re talking about and it helps you reach that 2000 character limit. And if it’s an Apitchapong Weerasathakul film, you’re almost finished before you begin!

The only exception to this rule is if you’re reviewing a TV show. No one cares about TV directors because they tend to be talentless hacks and assholes.

Recently Viewed - Apocalypse Edition

Je tu il elle (1974)***

Chantal Akerman’s early experiment is more a three act assembly of scenes than conventional cinema. In the first act, she rolls around on the floor in a sparsely furnished suburban apartment, while eating bags of sugar and trying to piece together scattered pages of a script. In Act 2, she bolts the apartment and hitches a ride with a trucker (Niels Arestrup) and over a period of a few days his sleeper compartment gets quite the workout. Act 3 is one long – and I do mean long – lesbian love scene that’s remarkably unerotic. The second act is by far the strongest, with Arestrup adding a much needed reality counterbalance to Akerman’s introspection. One wishes this story had been expanded to feature length and the other vignettes discarded. Akerman has gone on to a long and prolific directorial career, known for her challenging and controversial films. Devoted fans will be interested in this unrefined glimpse into her humble beginnings, but be advised it’s not a film designed for the general public. And that’s putting it mildly.

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Anton Chekhov’s The Duel (2009)***

The Duel features some wonderful acting and detailed period production, yet it never quite shakes the tasteful chains that make it seem like a big screen version of a Masterpiece Theater installment. Set in a Baltic Sea beach town, Andrew Scott stars in this tale of rural decadence as a young, dissolute dandy who has fled Moscow after stealing another man’s wife (the very hot Fiona Glascott). The film hints and nudges and frolics with the concept of honor, as self righteous neighbor Van Koren (icy Tobias Menzies) elects to make a stand for all that is decent and good – in his foolish mind, anyway. The film has some issues, in particular Scott who, despite a solid performance, looks and sounds so much like Mark Ruffalo that it all gets a bit distracting. The Duel has been deified by a number of critics, but despite oozing good taste and decorum, it’s at best only ok.

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Black Heaven (2010)***1/2

Gregoire Leprince-Ringuet, who you may remember as Louis Garrel’s gay fling in Love Songs, has the lead in this Hitchcock–style thriller. A missing cell phone leads to romantic obsession with a sensual bottle-blond (Louise Bourgoin) and some twisted dealings with her dangerously unbalanced brother (Melvil Poupard, who gets better with every film). A computer game is used for narrative propulsion and, surprisingly, it actually kind of works. Indeed, none of the film seems as preposterous as it should, so give long time writer turned director Gilles Marchand a healthy dose of credit. In all, Black Heaven is a lightweight, middle of the road entertainment that has the good sense not to overstay its welcome.