Saturday, May 29, 2010
Where: Buffalo, NY
When: July, 1990
Situation: I got off the freeway to fill up with cheap American gas before crossing into Canada. I couldn’t find a gas station, and took a wrong turn and was suddenly in a dilapidated neighborhood where all the signs were in Polish or Russian or something. Gigantic birds were wandering around. It was the weirdest, creepiest place I’d ever been.
Solution: I drove along the Lake figuring it would have to run into the Peace Bridge eventually. It did.
Where: Arles, France
When: March, 1994
Situation: Arles is a town of charming, winding streets perfect for strolling. However the streets are not laid out according to any logical format, and before long, we were hopelessly turned around. We wandered for an hour. Then, it started to rain. Hard.
Solution: A friendly Gendarme, who at first thought we were trying to report a stolen car, eventually understood we were lost and drew us a map back to our hotel.
Where: Phoenix, Arizona
When: May, 2010
Situation: I figured that if I headed west on McDowell Road I would eventually run into the 303. I drove halfway to California until the road turned to dirt and dead-ended at an abandoned ranch, which looked suspiciously like a Meth Lab. It had a hand-lettered sign that said “Theifs Will Be Shot”
Solution: I turned around and got the hell out of there.
Where: Jacksonville, Florida
When: Several times during the 1980s
Situation: The interchange of I-10 and I-95 is a doozy, and if you’re not paying attention, you could end up in one of those swampy backwaters Marjorie Rawlings used to write about.
Solution: I stopped going to Florida altogether.
The Sublime Thoughts of Bunched Undies