I’d hop in my Time Machine
If ever I needed a bit of fun
And set the control to 1961
Life seemed simpler then
The times were not as tense
And my favorite magazine was only 35 cents
Then I’d visit this pool
And refresh by swimming a few laps
Maybe help the gals adjust their bathing caps
Such a workout would make us hungry
As ravenous as newborn pups
So we’d go out for burgers and sippy cups.
After lunch, I’d write a letter
Then I'd send it to young Julie Newmar
And tell her Catwoman would soon make her a star.
For a laugh, I’d go to a car dealer
And test drive that wonderful new Desoto
Then I'd ask someone to take my photo
I’d visit some relatives
Many of whom have since departed
Like my Grammy, who was so kind-hearted
After we said our goodbyes
I’d probably feel a little restless
So off to Paris, where Godard filmed Breathless
Then back to Manhattan in a flash
Where, with my head still swirling,
I’d have cocktails with Draper and Sterling
But now my readers start to giggle…
They’re fictional characters you say?
Yes, you fool…even glamorous Joan Holloway!
But now it’s time to bid 1961 adieu
So back home to Arizona and the present day
Where, if I have all my papers, they might let me stay…